What Is It That I Really Want?

What is it that I want? More than anything in the world?

Hmm, there are a lot of things I want.

I want to do well at work, to feel valued, like I am actually making a difference.

I want to be able to resist my cravings for bad, sugary, carby ‘stress’ food.

I want a fit and ‘hot’ body.

I want to feel love. I want to know what it is.

I want to go on adventures and not have to worry about work, commitments or responsibilities.

Yes, there are a lot of things I want.

But if I had to choose one, just one thing that I really want? Well, I want appreciation.

Not so much being appreciated, but rather, the ability to appreciate.

I want appreciation.

I want to be able to wake up every morning in my clean and comfortable bed, and not dread what lies ahead.

I want to go through my day without thinking about getting on a plane and escaping to somewhere far away.

I want to walk around, even if it’s just on my way to work, and find beauty everywhere, from the walls of the LRT station to the smiles of the people passing by.

I want to go to work, at a job that gives me so many opportunities and with such a great culture, and not feel deterred by the amount of work.

I want to eat at the dining table, and soak in how very blessed I am to be able to share a wholesome, warm meal with my family.

I want to sit at my pink Ikea desk with my pen and paper, and doodle away without wondering why my work never looks as good as those of the professional artists on Instagram.

I want to watch my favourite chick flicks on my new MacBook Pro without feeling sad about spending my Friday night at home, alone.

I want to go to sleep, again in my clean and comfortable bed, and not think of it as a way of ‘shutting down’ and forgetting about my worries, but rather, as a time for me to rest, relax and prepare myself for yet another great day of adventure!

I want appreciation, of where I am, what I have and who I am, in the here and now.

It sounds simple, yet so difficult to achieve.

But I guess that’s just something I have to work on. Every day.

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